Manchester Based Photographer, Illustrator & Designer

Jeez Louise…

I’m trying to sort a snowboard for this coming season and it’s eating me up inside!…well, not really eating me up inside (that would my suspect cooking I presume!), but it’s confusing for shure. I’ve done enough sports on enough boards to know how important this choice is. I’m still totally perplexed at the mahoosive difference even slight changes to a surfboard shape and size can make. Anyway, I’m pretty limited on funds so it’s not like I can just shell out for another board if I get dissatisfied, and I’m going to be riding a ‘lorra lorra’ snow as Cilla Black would say. I’m just going to type through this one…possibly at length! I need a sounding board for making my decisions.

I’m definately set on getting a Bataleon. They have this mad ‘triple base tech’, which makes a hell of a lot of sense in my head. You know when you think through something and it just sits right? No other manufacturers seem to be putting as much thought into their base shapes right now…possibly with the exception of LibTech. But their boards just don’t make sense in my head, they look like crinkle cut chips…seriously. I like clean and simple lines on boards. Yeah, so anyway, the base of Bataleons boards are lifted at the edges on the nose and tail, kinda like extreme de-tuning(without loosing all the edge strength), which makes them much less likely to get caught up. That’s putting it really simply, but check out the website and think about it for a while…it just makes good sense. I still don’t think it’d give as much float in powder (after getting used to how surfboard concaves work), but all-round I reckon it spells fun fun fun.

So my decision is between the Fun Kink and the Goliath…and maybe the Riot. The Fun Kink is super flexy, which would be fun for buttering around and playing on little kickers, and it would definately serve well in helping me out on rails…at present I tend to opt for last minute avoidance promptly followed by “nnnaaah, I’m not feeling it”. But It’s an area I want to sort out! Thing is, I like bombing around and just cruising a lot of the time. I love just carving, usually pretending that I’m surfing…then I’ll get carried away with laying down spectacularly unsuccsesful hacks on imaginary waves like a complete gimp. Anyway, with the Fun Kink being so darn flexy, I’m not sure it’ll be stable enough at speed. Plus the base of the Fun Kink isn’t as fast or tough as those of the other boards. But it looks helluva good…and it’s scientifically proven by scientists that pretty boards perform better!

Enter the Goliath! So this board’s a bit more of an all-rounder. It’s pretty damn similar to the Fun Kink, measurement wise at least, but it’s got a bit more stiffness. So I guess it’d be a nice happy medium for bombing around all-over whilst still being a filthy play thing. hmmm

But then there’s the Riot, which is more of a wholehearted twin, with extra stiffness and faster, stronger base. It’s still got a bit more flex in the middle of the bord though, which I guess would work nicely for rails and boxes and all that jazz. This board costs fifty squids more than the Fun Kink though…but I guess thats not a big deal spread over the season.  But i’m not sure if a full-on twin is my bag really…I like cruising, I’m not a hip hop spinster, so I think i’d rather keep a wee little bit of setback. hhrrrmmpphhh

I’m thinking the Goliath…I mean it’s more of an all-rounder, it’s still got a decent amount of flex to guard against poop inducing, warp-speed, ice-fest, jitter-wobbles! But i’m guess that the triple base should help alleviate this anyway. Arrrgh, you know what…I want the Fun Kink. I think i’m just going to get the funnest-arsing around board possible…and I can get free hire, so i’ll just keep a big solid door of a board for deep days. Plus I’m rocking the body of a malnourished child so maybe I’ll be needing the extra flex. I bloody hate spending large chunks of money, it requires way too much thought. I guess they’re all super good boards though (so I hear anyway), and the differences are so slight..and besides i’m used to riding beat-up rental boards…and I always have a blast anyway. Bring on the winter. Right, bindings….ah crap


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